Unblievably Miserable

I've heard from my colleague that some was selling Hukou somewhere around. And what's important, she's one of her friends. I was so exited that finally I could take a chance to fixed myself in Beijing. Things seemed to be going well and I called the woman after work. She asked me several questions and promised to give me instructions tomorrow morning.
But suddenly before the first noodle went into my mouth, she called me and informed me that things changed and I was not possible to take this chance.
You know, it is not the misery itself disappoints us. The changing distance between hope and fucking reality does.
It's getting cold in the dorm. I put off my earphone. Suddenly, sound of rain come around me. I am feeling unbelievably Miserable...

歌手

领导要带我们去领略蒙古风情。
一对青年男女走进饭厅，手捧哈达，唱着歌向我走来。
无名指点了酒，敬天，敬地，敬祖先之后，领导说，唱首那啥吧。于是男女声情并茂的唱起来。众人听得不亦乐乎，拍腿的，鼓掌的，叫好的。

而我想到的，就是——天涯歌女和卖唱这两个词

对了，刚看完地图，原来乌兰浩特离齐齐哈尔是如此之近……

衰弱

周末开始胃疼，今天终于忍无可忍……
貌似是急性胃炎，躺下睡了数小时，觉得最近所有的衰弱感都一齐迸发出来了……骨骼疼痛，腰背痛，等等。都有点自己吓到自己了。
躺在床上脑子里面想到的是一些支离破碎的片断，过去，现在，镜花水月的未来，想到一部西班牙电影当中的话：一缕阳光，射进我的心房。闭着眼睛都能感觉的那丝暖意。也许就在一个繁杂的闹市，还能闹中取静的喝着咖啡，画着画，写着小说，听着音乐，看着自己的爱人在身边忙碌或者悠闲，想着，自己故去的和远在天边的亲人朋友……
幻想总是能减轻阵痛，现在我的胃又开始剧痛了，等到明天再说吧……